Today is the three-year anniversary of my grandmother’s death on July 7, 2005. Grandmom and I shared a love of Gone with the Wind. I remember the first time I read it, in the summer of 2002, and how she and I e-mailed back and forth about it. At that time, I couldn’t understand that Scarlett didn’t really love Ashley; she only thought she did. Grandmom had to explain it to me. How wise she was. Or maybe I just hadn’t gotten to that part of the book yet.
I have never seen my dad cry. The only time I came close to catching him was when he stood up after Grandmom’s funeral and thanked everyone for coming. His voice might have cracked…just almost. But he kept his composure the rest of the time. He assures me, though, that it’s okay to cry.
I think even our dog knew something was wrong when Grandmom died. She greeted me when I came home from work, wagging her tail and looking like she was ready to bark or jump up on me, which she always does. But all she did was look at me, remaining quiet. Grandmom always said that Kate (our dog) was “almost human.” That makes me laugh. I like to think Kate is almost human, albeit a human with a very short memory and a tendency to pee when you pet her.
I’m glad Grandmom got into e-mailing even though e-mailing grew popular so late in her life. My other grandmother has recently started e-mailing, even though she’s 80! We have kept in touch through that medium, which I appreciate. We, too, talk about books we both like.
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Here’s an excerpt from an e-mail Grandmom sent me on August 17, 2002:
I too wonder if Melanie suspected anything about
Scarlett & Ashley. I think she would not be able to believe that of Ashley.
He was her “knight in shining armor” – but then again – she was so loyal,
she would have defended Scarlett (which she did) and hold Ashley up in public
as she perceived him to be and wanted everyone else to see him in the same
way.
It’s hard to believe that Rhett meant what he said about his love for her was
over. I wonder. Could Scarlett ever change – and if she did would Rhett
love the changed Scarlett. She had many admirable traits, but she was also a
very selfish, centered person. Remember he loved her while she was all of
these things. He did respect Melanie and sometime you think he wanted
Scarlett to be more like her, but I wonder if he really wanted Scarlett to be
more like Melanie. She could be mean and selfish, but you wonder if Melanie
and Scarlett’s family would have survived the times if she had been a weaker
person. Gosh, I could go on and on – I would love to be in school and have a
teacher assign reading this book and would look forward to her essay
questions. There are so many angles a teacher could assign for the essay.
This was so much fun, picking each others brains. Love, Grandmom
Wow, I never thought about whether Rhett would love Scarlett if she changed. That’s a good point! Your Grandmom was so wise…like when she called me “sick.”
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I’m glad I finally read this one. And I’m glad to see the part of grandmom’s email. She really did have a lot of insightfulness and a deeply reflective side. I remember when I was really young that we would talk about a lot of interesting things like that. She really had a lot of thoughts. I still miss her- and I even cry when I need to. Sorry you missed that.
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